i feel like i just fell back into the same shithole i had such a hard time getting out of, two years ago. and i went to french class and i started crying. and i read pete's blog again and i started crying.
'its funny how people get nostalgic for the worst times in your life. people sometimes seem to miss the person i was when i was just in a self hating haze or fantasize that i miss or should miss someone who made me feel as worthwhile as a pile of dirt and spent their entire life decieving me.'
cause its so fucking true its not even funny. god knows how many times i pictured you wandering out in the streets of Chicago at night or getting back for the umpteenth time with jeanae.
and i just worry cause i feel that he deserves better, and anyway he doesnt seem as crazy about me as i am about him..maybe i was just trying to convince myself this was perfect all along. no matter how hard i dont want this to end, maybe its just meant to.